Be a MILF, not a SCHLUB!

August 12, 2014 1 Comment

Be a MILF, not a SCHLUB!

Photo Credit: f.fwallpapers.com

As a new mom, it's easy to fall into the elastic-waistband trap.

I get it.

True story: While pregnant with my daughter, I scoured Wal-Mart for the cheapest, roomiest nightgown I could find with the plan to give birth in it.

Apparently, I didn’t get the memo about those things called hospital gowns.

It was the most hideous thing the mind could fathom: a saturated blue XXXL number adorned in pastel blue whales... as if I needed something to invite the comparison.

Many months after my daughter was born, it was still my go-to outfit because it was comfy and easy access for nursing.

Finally, my husband – who I might add is an incredibly sensitive and kind person who’s always affirming my beauty even when I look objectively dreadful – staged an intervention.

• The whales had to go.

My challenge ran deeper than the lack of sleep. It was that I suddenly found myself re-framing my body from hot-little-midriff to someone’s food source. It’s easy to think of your body in utilitarian terms when a tiny human is helping herself to your body parts 24 hours a day.

But ladies, we’re not doing ourselves any favors.

How you look affects how you feel.

So with no further ‘ado, here’s how to feel MILF instead of SCHLUB:

1. Maintain self-care – Force yourself to shower, do your hair, and put on a bit of makeup (if you normally do), even if it’s the only thing you accomplish all day.

It’s the difference between walking out of the house feeling like swagger-has-her-shit-together-mom vs. barely-keeping-it-together-mom.

2. Find healthy indulgences – The early days of parenting are a give-a-thon.

It’s natural to feel like you’re running on empty if you nurture only your child and not yourself.

So find indulgences that make you feel good, such as, a power smoothie, a massage, or a pedicure!

3. Wear Clothes That FIT You Now – For most women, pregnancy is a total body experience.

I always envied those women that got a cute little basketball tummy, because believe me, I got pregnant in my arms, my legs, my butt, and my face. As we gain and then lose our pregnancy weight, we often make compromises in wardrobe that don’t do ourselves any favors. Wear clothes that fit your current self – not your aspirational self.

4. Get Your YOGA On – One of the things I love about yoga is it can be easily modified to all levels.

In the weeks after baby is born, practice gentle stretching and relaxation, and as your body recovers, you can move into an intensive power-yoga regimen.

5. Revel In Your BOOBS – Especially if you’re nursing, you’ll notice that when baby hasn’t nursed for, say, 3 hours, you’ll get pornstar boobs, so engorged with milk are they.

I imagine they feel like pornstar boobs too, though I can’t vouch for this.

Delight in this phase. They’ll never look so shapely again.

How do you get your MILF on? Share with me!

Here's a nutrition-based book for sale right now on Amazon.com specifically for MILFs-in-training!

The MILF Diet: Let the Power of Whole Foods Transform Your Body, Mind, and Spirit . . . Deliciously! 




1 Response

Darlene
Darlene

April 25, 2016

Absolutely great content! Written from a Real readers perspective. Thank you. I will frame it.

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