It’s Labor Day! You’re going to a party! There’s going to be so much food and drinks there, that a small army could come by, pillage and cannonball, and there’d still be tons more food to consume!!
How on earth are you going to fit into any of your Labor Day Sale newbie items if you don’t survive this pull-up-to-the-trough event?
Rolling up hungry, won’t work. Starving yourself until you get there is a big no-no. Eat a healthy breakfast, perhaps get some cardio in earlier in the day, and don’t arrive dehydrated.
These are keys.
Don’t bust down the double doors (J. Mayer reference... boom!) with your seven cheese & mac family heirloom recipe and be shocked when people throw the fourteen layer bean dip up your face.
Be the hero and show up with the healthy option, the option that if it’s the ONLY HEALTHY OPTION you have at the soiree, you’re going to be fine. Think of things you can consume large quantities of without losing your shit/your food plan, like:
This will help you tons.
Find a life-partner, or at least an event-life-partner, who has the body you want or who is working their ass off and who will hold your hair back, as well as the rest of you back, when you start veering towards the brownies a-la-mode.
Do not let each other down.
You are weak. I am weak. We all are weak. HOOFUCKINGRAY FOR WEAK!
You don’t keep fifteen gallons of ice cream in your freezer because you’re now all about setting yourself up for success, not setting yourself up for failure.
So don’t screw yourself over by thinking you can attend this gathering for EIGHT HOURS without losing your healthy choices mojo.
If it starts at 1pm, get there at 1:30pm. If it’s scheduled to end at 7:30pm... well, two hours is plenty of time to see and be seen, right... Charlotte?
We all know that the more you drink the weaker you are, and we’re still talking about weak in terms of food choices here, peeps. Give yourself a two-drink maximum and stick to it.
Rock the water for each drink.
Think... water, martini, water, martini, water...
Because you also know the cops are out there having a field day with their ticket booklets...
And who wants to end a day of Labor in the slammer?!?