Right now, starting today, let’s cut these seven things from our vocabularies, ladies.
To judge is human. It’s how we learn about our world and discern right from wrong, effective from misguided, fact from fiction. To form an opinion requires judgment. At some point it seemed to become part of the feminine credo that we not judge any ideas as better than others. It makes it difficult as a woman to take a firm stand on an issue without facing character assassination.
I think what we’re really trying to capture is the notion that we shouldn’t make unfair judgments or ascribe ill motives toward people who make choices that are different from our own.
Cool. Let’s re-frame that to “Don’t be an asshole.”
Of course there’s a time and place for apologies, but it’s become an unhealthy addiction, as this provocative recent Pantene ad showcases: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/18/pantene-not-sorry-shine-strong_n_5507461.html.
Let’s stop apologizing for the fact that we occupy space and breathe oxygen.
Research shows that while people speak to young boys about their interests, comments to young girls center around physical appearance. We must do a better job asking young girls about the things on their minds and the ways they spend their time. Consider saying something like:
• “What are your favorite books?”
• “You look like someone who likes to think a lot. What do you like to think about?”
• “What do you like to do in those shoes? Run? Skip? Jump? Show me!”
You get the idea. Run with that concept and empower young women!
If you’ve ever struggled with depression, you know it’s not as simple as willing yourself out of it. In fact, these statements can make the listener feel worse because you’re effectively telling them they shouldn’t feel the way they do or aren’t working hard enough to fix it.
Depression is a mental illness that can be helped by professional treatment. It’s awesome that you were able to perk up by going for a run the day your coworker annoyed you, but please don’t project that experience onto a person who has struggled to get out of bed for months.