Sugar and spice and everything nice... Yeah, right! Who do you really think you’re kidding? Just because we are girls doesn’t mean we don’t do some pretty gnarly things in private... and sometimes in public.
See how many of these gross things girls do that you will admit to, ladies, or that you have witnessed, guys.
And sometimes they are LOUD, but you will never hear it. It’s like a mystical creature that only comes out in the cover of darkness...or when we are sleeping and can’t control it.
Most of the time we let loose a little puff of glitter...
...and sunshine exits our rear ends and our panties whisper, or at least that’s what we like to think it’s like.
Shaving our legs, armpits and nether regions, of course. If we can get away with it, we will put off shaving as long as possible. If it’s winter and I get to wear pants every day, don’t be surprised if my legs look like a chia pet, should you happen to catch a glance.
I don’t know why but it seems to be an acceptable practice to take it off and through it right back in the drawer for tomorrow... and the next day... and the next day. You get my drift. Don’t tell me you haven’t re-worn a pair of briefs from time to time.
I cannot tell you why but I will hold it UNTIL I get in the shower just to do it. We. Just. Do.
Oh now that girl really has a strong sense of self, right? Super sexy right? Na, she’s’ just too lazy to do her laundry, probably sleeps on the clean laundry days before folding it, and that hair swept back in the ponytail? Putting your greasy hair in a ponytail means your hygiene preparation is complete.
Particularly after a hard leg day at the gym, I simply cannot hold myself up in the stall. Shaky legs means pee down my leg and potentially on the inside of the undies that are too close to the toilet as it is. When you gotta go, you gotta go. If there are droplets of pee from the previous shaky leg squatter, I’ll grab a bit of toilet paper and wipe it up. With my ultraviolet germ vision I’ll examine the area and determine if it is now safe to sit on.
Na, I just don’t care, and neither do most women.
Sometimes her period comes unexpectedly and if she is not prepared, her local toilet stall is. She will go all DIY on that issue and roll a fist full of the ol’ TP and make a nice little maxi of her own. This is particularly gross for her, so if you happen to find little tiny rolled pieces of toilet paper crumbles leaving a trail on the floor from her pant leg, please be kind and shut your trap.
...That sometimes we think that it would be a hell of a lot easier to simply re-apply what rubbed off overnight.
Why not? You don’t know that is it three-day-old mascara. Since when have you looked at a woman and said to yourself “Jeeze her lashes seem a bit thick today, maybe she should have used an eyelash comby thingy”. That’s what I thought. Never.
Yeah, well, we’ve experienced that too. Why there is a natural curiosity to rub your fingers between your toes and then smell it is beyond me, but we’ve all done it... admit it! OK I’m done telling on myself and my fellow females. Maybe this will give you a better appreciation for your lady and see that yes she is perfect although she is human...and perfect.