You H.I.I.T. Enuf To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse?

by Allen Gil October 29, 2014

You H.I.I.T. Enuf To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse?

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Hey, it’s called survival of the fittest, right?

If a zombie is busy munching on the brains of a slower weaker animal (the slouch that sits next to you at work who always brings In and Out Burger back to the office to tempt you...I hate that guy), he certainly won’t be able to chase you.

Well as long as you got your FIT together (see what I did there?)!

zombie woman floor

Believe it or not there are people out there who believe this thing is really gonna happen and they take it very seriously.

They have created prepper sites full of zombie deterrents, weapons, name it and it is for sale.

Now I have found a zombie survival workout online and I have to tell you I think it’s hysterical yet I’m intrigued to know who would buy this program. I can certainly see buying a program to get a cool fun workout unlike something you can easily find at your local gym.

There is a reason why P90X and INSANITY are so very popular.

We are bored of the same ol’ routine.

Those programs offer excitement and a new variation to the exercises we are used to.

Now a Zombie Survival workout, well that’s just fascinating to me. I almost want to buy it just to see if these guys are for real or just having some fun at the expense of those who actually think at some point in the near future there will be an outbreak of infection on a massive scale that will turn people undead with an insatiable taste for flesh, and blood and brains.

According to the Survival workout they will prepare you for every obstacle or scenario a you could face in a zombie apocalypse.

It’s the kind of program that they would put an action star through:

• conditioning
• endurance
• strength
• agility

They say even the most gruesome and relentless zombies won’t stand a chance. Someone please for the love of all that is holy, buy this program and tell me what you think.

I’m dying to know.....ahhhahha I’m too funny even for myself.

Let’s get serious for a moment.

Nah, let’s face it, nothing in this article can be taken seriously so on with it.

Estately Blog, which is a site that helps people shop for homes, has listed the states most and least likely to survive the zombie apocalypse. Crazy huh?

Well, according to this article, D.C. will definitely be wiped out by the zombie onslaught.

zombies white house

I thought it was because they would try to argue their way out of being eaten, but no, according to Estately, our nation’s capital has almost no knowledge, martial arts, or firearm ownership.

It will be an all-you-can-eat brain buffet for the zombies.

The state to most likely to survive? Alaska!

Every one of you just said to yourself “yep I can see that”.

• These guys thrive on hunting.
• Residents run from bear and moose on a daily basis.
• They certainly would not fear a slow moving corpse.

According to Estately, Alaska is packed with military personnel and veterans and they are only a fraction of the well-armed Alaskans ready and willing to take down a zombie with their snowmobiles.

Ok. I have my own (Rob) Zombie survival advice.

zombie rob zombie

So here goes:

Clearly from all of these “reputable” sources the underlying truth is simple:

• Don’t be a lazy fat ass and get moving.
• If you are a couch potato, you will end up being an easy bake appetizer for the zombie next door.
• As we all know every time we eat bacon, the fat tastes the best.
• So it only goes to say that the less fat we have the less tasty we will be.
• And boy do I feel silly even typing this, but all in all I’m highly entertained by the whole thing.

High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is the way to go folks.

Gives your amazing cardio conditioning so you can:

• keep going longer,
• move faster,
• perform better and stronger…
• ok I sound like I am hyping a sex pill now.

Well truth be told High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) is a great way to condition yourself for a situation where you need to outrun, outperform and outlast your opponent...and let’s face it, it’s great for the bedroom, too, 'cause you’ll be needing that long before you’ll be facing a brain-sucking mob outside your door.

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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