5 Things to Know Before Dating an Athletic GUY!

by Chris Miquel August 04, 2017 1 Comment

5 Things to Know Before Dating an Athletic GUY!

So recently I wrote an article about athletic girls and the things that one might consider before dating such a beast... that’s right, a beautiful beast!

After seeing the enormous response it got, I can only assume that these magnificent creatures pique the curiosity of the couch lifter and couch potato alike.

And of course every fit girl wants to read about herself and how truly amazing she is... duh!

So now it’s time to turn our focus to the athletic guy and what the ladies should expect with these hunky monkeys.

As much as we all admire the dedication and willpower it takes to become the six-pack stud, I will not beat around the bush here... there is an unfortunate side-effect to being so sexy.

1. He Will and I Mean WILL... Fart.

And I don’t mean like your lactose-intolerant uncle.

I mean like the cast of Sons of Anarchy just rolled up on you.

And it’s not the turbulent nature of the farts that make them so extreme, it’s the fact that the gas released has the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.

Find a school desk to hide under!

  • Protein farts are common place with the fit crowd and most guys and girls who throw back a series of meticulously measured shakes per day are comfortable with their gaseous emissions no matter how much it makes your eyes water.

SO, keep that in mind as you get into an elevator, closed car, or while standing in line with one of these guys.

2. Hello, Foodie!

His diet will either be incredibly strict or he will eat you out of house and home.

Your man’s area of athletic interest will determine his food consumption and the boatload of supplements that go with it.

Don’t be surprised to be invited back to his pad and the entire kitchen counter is littered with a vast array of


  • protein powders,
  • whey powders,
  • creatine powders and pills,
  • protein bars
  • and a variety of other potions and pills.


Do not question him if you plan to have any future with this man. These are equivalent to your shoe collection.....get it?

3. He Probably Does Not Own Slacks or a Collared Shirt....That Fits.

The specific muscle definition of weight-trainers and super athletic guys gives them a different frame from most other men.

These guys will have to invest a small fortune to purchase and then have tailored any shirt, jacket and slack that he undoubtedly bought a size or two up just to fit his shoulders and thighs.

  • Don’t expect a closet full of nice clothes.
  • Get used to a standard look that he will sport to the gym, to the movies, dinner with your parents, and any restaurant, club or lounge that will let him.

I’m no psychic but I can pretty much expect that he wears the same

  • four shirts,
  • two pairs of shorts,
  • three pairs of sneakers,
  • and rotates four pairs of underwear weekly.


4. Personal Space Issues... in the Bathroom.

That’s right. Hello, encroachment.

More invasive and shocking to your own ego than his gas issue will be that he will compete for mirror space...checking out

• his perfectly formed biceps,

• rolling his pant leg up to get a good rear view look at those bulging calves,

• and most interestingly, he will examine and pick at EVERY LITTLE bump on his body.

Oh and don’t be surprised if he starts checking out his own ass every time he gets up to pee.

Walking by a mirror and not looking used to be a self-control issue that only we ladies suffered.

I don’t feel nearly as bad about it now, knowing that my man is constantly photobombing my mirror time.

5. Finally, Become a Fan of Calloused Hands.

Yes I am serious.

Silky smooth palms are not the trademark of a true athletic guy.

  • Invest in some lotion for him to use if rubbing your back, legs, or feet is a turn on.
  • He will be proud of his ripped off skin and those tough protruding pads on his palms.

There you have it.

Not all bad in my opinion and well worth enduring the paint peeling flatulence, just to get to grab a handful of chest that you could bounce a quarter off of.

Chris Miquel
Chris Miquel


1 Response

John Jacob
John Jacob

January 09, 2018

What a load of crap. About the only thing you got right was the calloused hand. Perhaps that’s because you are like a reformed smoker. Suddenly found yourself fat and “fixed” yourself. I have been an athlete my whole life still finish in top 5% of all kinds a racing. Played American football for 16 years of my life, rugby after that for another 10 and still compete in all kinds of races. I don’t live through my children like many former athletes, but rather try and live a life that leads by example. I don’t fart a lot unless sit is in the bathroom, I don’t stress about what I eat though I do eat a healthy diet (don’t take supplements), I am a clothes horse, I don’t spend much time in the bathroom (shit, shower and shave, including my head, and dress in a suit in 20 minutes). Anyway to each his own. The people you describe are in great probably for purely ego and appearance. I like giving a 100% at everything I do. I chuckle to myself when I am in the gym lifting, because most of those guys staring at themselves in the mirror couldn’t keep up with me for a moment. Maybe a little bigger, but by any measure of fitness they couldn’t carry my gym bag. I know this sounds boastful (it is), but I compete in things where only a small percentage of the population even can do so and I still come out near the top. Cheers.

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