Is Your Pre-Workout a Controlled Substance?

by Allen Gil November 22, 2014

Is Your Pre-Workout a Controlled Substance?

Photo Credit:

What do your Pre-Workout Supplements and your local Drug Dealer have in common?

I know, I know.

You just have to tell me all about how you maxed out on your bench presses yesterday and totally gained like 5 more pounds on your personal record all because of your newest “Super-Elite-Ultra-Pump Pre-Workout Blast” supplement.

• Yes, I am totally psyched for you.

• No, I don’t want to hear any more of your babbling about how your “chest was so pumped you felt like Dolly Parton.”

Pre-workout drinks, powders, shakes, lollipops (and possibly even eye drops) are all the rage now-a-days and it seems that most of the people at my gym are either taking them, asking about them or selling them out of the trunk of their cars.

trunk goodfellas It never ceases to amaze me just how popular these things have become in such a relatively short period of time that they have been on the market.

Now, I have been working in fitness for over 20 years so I have seen my fair share of silly gimmicks come and go, but this one takes the cake.

I have talked to people who will actually choose NOT to do their workout unless they are lit up good and well on their favorite hyper-pump nitro-shot powder.

It’s as if exercise just won’t get the job done anymore unless your blood pressure is 500/200.

So why are these things so popular?

trunk raging

You WILL be full of energy.

The primary active ingredient in nearly all of these supplements is caffeine. What sane person doesn’t love them some caffeine?? (Heck, I don’t even bother getting out of bed without dumping a Red Bull down my throat in the morning, but that’s enough about me.)

Getting a killer pump!!!

A whole host of exotic herbs and spices are listed as ingredients that claim to give the user the biggest “pump” of his/her life.

Does that equate to better results?

• Well, the science doesn’t support such a notion, but it sure is cool when your small/medium Affliction shirt is so tight on your arms after those 30 sets of preacher curls, that if you move too quickly the material might actually rip.

(But then again, that’s pretty much how those shirts always fit. I think they are all made in children’s sizes.)

It helps you make new friends.

• This is only a good thing because you keep losing all of your established friends due to talking so damn much while on your pre-workout supplement.

trunk andy Slow down, use full sentences and lay off the crack, would ya?

Look. We all want to find the “quick fix” or “magic pill” that will give us better results in the gym, but the truth is, throwing massive amounts of caffeine down your throat isn’t going to do anything other than crank up your blood pressure and possibly keep you up through four seasons of “Dexter” on Netflix.

• Eat right,

• workout using a purposeful, progressive program

• and drink more water.

Lay off the magic pills and powders and have a little patience my friend.

Your poor kidneys will thank me later.

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


Leave a comment