You’re Pooping All Wrong!

by Allen Gil December 21, 2014

You’re Pooping All Wrong!

Photo Credit:

Yes, you.

You, my friend, are pooping like an amateur.

Since when did pooping become a sport you ask?

Well it’s not technically, yet.

pooping chess

All kidding aside, studies show that our colon is begging for a break. More and more frequently we hear of our friends and family complaining of

  • constipation,
  • irritable bowel syndrome,
  • hemorrhoids
  • and a host of other intestinal and bowel related issues.

Is it because of the food we consume or lack of activity?

Sure these things greatly contribute to the breakdown in our body’s ability to perform optimally, but the real culprit is, get this… the porcelain throne in your own home.

Yes, your toilet is destroying your insides.

pooping squatty potty


How is this possible?

Well the toilet is basically aiding our lazy modern day habit of sitting whenever possible.

  • Sit to eat,
  • sit to talk,
  • sit to watch,
  • sit to think…
  • and sit to poop.

But you’re supposed to sit right?

Relax, read something, allow nature to take its course… but a lot of the times, nature isn’t so cooperative is it? And no amount of focused breathing, abdominal squeezing, or private prayers for relief seem to work.

Why? Because:

Physiologically, humans are designed to squat.

pooping asian men

Don’t believe me? 

  • The next time your 1 or 2 year little niece or nephew starts making the “gotta go face” and he runs off to a corner and lays down a nasty stinker, take notice of his position.

I’m willing to bet they just performed that perfect squat your trainer has been trying to push your butt into. And if you’re sitting there thinking that I’m hornswoggling you with nonsense just so I can push my physical fitness garbage…not so.  

Here’s a little science for you:

  • The colon doesn’t fully relax in the sitting position.
  • It isn’t until the colon is in the squatting position that the strain (to go) is eliminated.
  • In the squatting position, gravity does most of the work.
  • The weight of the torso presses against the thighs and naturally compresses the colon.
  • Gentle pressure from the diaphragm supplements the force of gravity.
  • Squatting relaxes the puborectalis muscle, allowing the anorectal angle to straighten and the bowel to empty completely.
  • The colon is equipped with an inlet valve (the ileocecal valve) and an outlet valve (the puborectalis muscle).
  • Squatting simultaneously closes the inlet valve, to keep the small intestine clean, and opens the outlet valve, to allow wastes to pass freely.
  • The sitting position defeats the purpose of both valves, making elimination difficult and incomplete, and soiling the small intestine.

Now that you’re thoroughly grossed out…

How do we fix our pooping problem?

pooping squater

Well, obviously I’m not going to sit (squat) here and say that we should all jump up on the toilet seats at work and start perching, how funny would that be though?

Fortunately for us, several companies like Squatty Potty have come out with stool designs that are made perfectly to fit your home toilet with the optimal height and width for maximum colon bowlin’.

  • Having your feet elevated so that your knees are above your hips and your back straightened will mimic the natural squat position thus allowing your colon to “unkink” and the crapper will actually be what it was meant for…gross but had too, sorry.

Although Modern-day squat evangelists may claim that a "more natural" posture wards off all sorts of health problems, from Crohn's disease to colon cancer, it still remains untested.

However, empirical evidence does suggest defecation posture absolutely affects your body.

And when it comes to hemorrhoids—a painful swelling of the veins in the anal canal that affects half of all Americans, research suggests that you may want to get your butt off the toilet.

So, in closing, the oval office is not for playing video games, perusing Facebook, checking your mail or reading the latest muscle and fitness magazine.

It is for proper pooping…period.

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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