The Manly Man’s Guide to Grocery Shopping

by Allen Gil January 03, 2015 1 Comment

The Manly Man’s Guide to Grocery Shopping

Guy’s, let’s face it, you suck when it comes to grocery shopping. Heck, you probably shouldn’t even be allowed in the kitchen without adult supervision. Remember the last time you “made” yourself a can of soup, when you freaked out because it didn’t have an easy pop-top lid? Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. (Other than the zillion people who are reading this article right now)

So, your buddies have nominated your place as the spot to watch the game and you don’t have the first clue how to navigate the grocery store in order to stock up on food. Lucky you, I am here to save your ass. When it comes to grocery shopping, I can take you from rank amateur straight to certified professional in no time at all.

Now then, pay close attention because I am going to share with you the 5 keys to winning at the grocery store, whether it be for a party or just an average work week.

  • Make a list and check it twice

Don’t even think about going grocery shopping unless you have made a list of the items you need first. Yeah, we all think we will be able to remember everything we need to make dinner, but the truth is you can’t even remember when you last washed that shirt you’re wearing.

Know your limits man! Make a list that includes your staple foods like milk and eggs and then jot down the individual ingredients you’ll need to whip up your favorite recipe that you stole from mom. You know the one I mean.

  • Stick to the walls

Stick to Perimeters Max No Sleeves

If you are doing the right thing with your food intake, you should be eating mostly fresh foods, instead of stuff that comes in a box or a can. Fresh fruits, veggies, dairy and meats are located around the perimeter of the building and all of the processed crap is bunched up in the middle aisles.

As much as it might seem like an intergalactic coincidence that all stores are setup this same way, it’s actually done that way because of the refrigeration and plumbing needed for those fresh items. Comeon, you’ve seen the fancy sprinkler thingies that squirt water all over the produce, right? Kinda scared you the first time it started raining when you were grabbing some lettuce, didn’t it? Yeah, me too.

    1. Bring your reading glasses

If you are going to do this the right way, you’re going to have to start reading not only the labels on the food containers you purchase, but also the price labels. The two main things we need to focus on here are calories and price per unit. Paying attention to the calories in your foods will help you to determine if that box of cheesy poofs is going to help or hurt your fat loss goal. (Put it back on the shelf!)

The price per unit is a little more complicated. At most stores you will notice that on the price label on the shelf there is a price for the whole container and another price that says something like “$0.32 per ounce.” Comparing these prices per unit from one manufacturer to the next, can help save you some serious moola.

Take that extra couple of seconds to read this valuable information and you will find that you are getting the most food for your hard earned dollar.

  • Don’t believe everything you read


Now that I have you taking a little bit closer of a look at the goodies you’re going to buy, let’s make sure those brilliant marketing guys over at XYZ corporation don’t trick you with some fancy labeling magic. Yes calories are important. You know what might be even more important? Servings per container my friend.

That’s right, if that box says it has 400 calories in big bold letters on the side, but in the fine print it says per serving and there are 5 servings in this particular box…well you can do the math my friend. Looks can be deceiving, so let’s make sure you know what you’re getting into before you have to add an extra hole onto your belt.

  • Too much is too much

Yes, I know that 23 gallon jar of pickles seems like a killer deal, but let’s think about this for a minute. If your power bill for last month was $200, why on earth would you send the power company a check for $2,000? (More importantly, why are you still paying for things with checks?)

More is not better my friend, so let’s make sure to not waste food and money by buying in bulk unless that’s what your shopping list called for. It is super tempting and it may even be cheaper in the old “price per unit” category, but buying 5 dozen eggs when all you were going make today was some French toast, might just be overkill.

At some point we all have to fend for ourselves gentlemen, so the next time you head to the store for some grub, make sure you follow these simple tips. You’ll save money AND stay on point with your fitness goals. That sounds pretty manly to me!

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


1 Response


December 26, 2016

Great article,being serious but humorous with knowledge makes it Awesome. Thanks.

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