The 5 Languages of Love...Simplified

by Allen Gil February 21, 2015

The 5 Languages of Love...Simplified

Relationships this day in age aren't exactly the easiest thing to understand or handle. Plus, we all know that no two people are exactly alike, so communication ends up being more like transcribing a foreign language.

If you decided not to take a second language in school and don't want to now,  your prayers have been answered!

A book and study series called “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Your Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” was written and it has rocked the world of lovers all across the globe.

This concept explains how each individual has a primary  “love language” that we must learn to speak if we want our better half to feel loved.  It also helps you identify what YOUR specific language is as well… so your mate can learn how to speak to you too!

What are these “Love Languages” you ask? Here they are, explained and most importantly, simplified:

Words of Affirmation: Using Words to Affirm People

Things like, “I love you,” “Thank you,” “You mean the world to me,” or “I really appreciate you,” are all examples of words of affirmation.  For certain types of individuals, hearing words and phrases like this tells them that they are loved and appreciated.  Letters and simple notes are both great ways to communicate with them, showing them you care… with your words.  For these types of people, words of affirmation are needed- not just suggested.

Acts of Service: Doing Nice Things For Each Other

For other types of people, the old saying goes: "Actions speak louder than words."  Examples of this are like when your spouse or partner washes the dishes or takes out the garbage for you without being asked.  Some people need to have Acts of Service performed for them to make them feel that they are loved.

Receiving Gifts: Giving Gifts to Show Affection

Not to be confused with Acts of Service, gift giving has always been one way to show affection.  Those who appreciate Receiving Gifts enjoy getting things like flowers or cards or small tokens of kindness.  These gifts need not be large, expensive displays of affection all the time… just something to let them know they are being thought of.  Generally, individuals who are the Receiving Gift language-type are also the gift-giving type and speak in a similar way.

Quality Time: Giving Your Undivided Attention

Have you ever been told that “We never spend any time together,” when in fact, you always seem to be around each other?  It is quite possible that your significant other speaks the language of Quality Time.  Certain types of people crave undivided attention from their spouse.  They want the other person to stop what they’re doing, look into their eyes and really hear what they’re saying.  One example is if a man is watching a sports show or reading the paper and his lady walks into the room.  Speaking to her in the love language of Quality Time would be that he puts the TV on mute or puts down the paper and keeps his full focus on her until she has left the room.

Physical Touch: Touch Their Soul… Literally


This may seem obvious, but the power of Physical Touch has always been a major love language.  For those who use Physical Touch as their love language, they need things like hugs, kisses, a simple touch of the leg, holding hands, long embraces and sexual intercourse to communicate that they are cared for.  For people of this nature, constant acts of Physical Touch shows them that they have your attention and it touches their soul… figuratively and literally.

Some of these explanations may seem silly or overly obvious to you, but that may be because it’s simply not a love language that you identify with.  However, your partner or spouse may think it’s the answer to their prayers.

How do you know what your love language is?

The author of “The 5 Love Languages,” Gary Chapman, has made it simple by taking a short quiz in which you can discover the languages that you speak (yes, you can have more than one)… and it will help you identify what language(s) your partner speaks as well.

It’s Love: Simplified!

Once you have identified the love language you respond to- it becomes easier to communicate with your partner and speak to them in a way that they will appreciate, too.  It’s not a foreign language and it’s not very hard to understand, either.  It’s just simple communication based upon the time-tested ‘language of love’ and now you know exactly what to say… or at the very least how to say it!  Now go out there and speak your heart- your lover will be listening!

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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