When it comes to love, we tend to see things through rose-colored glasses, especially in the early stages. We’re usually so enamored that we can’t possibly imagine that these good feelings may eventually subside or completely end altogether. Combine that with baggage from bad relationships past that involved mistrust, manipulation, jealousy, or insecurities, you’re probably left wondering if there even is anything better out there.
But then there are those couples who have been together forever. My parents, for example, have been married (happily married, I might add) for over 40 years now. Sure, they’ve had their ups and downs, but they are in it for the long run. They are both loyal and choose to never give up on eachother, no matter how tough times would get. If only we could all be so lucky to have someone who fights for us.
I’m here to tell you that it is possible!
While examples like my parents aren’t completely rare and unheard of, we have to be realistic: Times have changed. Social media has allowed us to stay connected at all times. Between Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, dozens of dating websites and even porn, options and temptations are everywhere and almost endless. You may even be wondering, “How can anyone be expected to stay faithful?” Although this raises another question for a completely different post, you can’t help but wonder right?
I’m here to show you that it is possible to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship in this day and age, but you have to be willing to call it quits when the bad times are starting to outweigh all of your good ones. If that’s too vague for you, I’ve got 12 warning signs that your relationship is over.
Once upon a time, your significant other used to always text, call, Skype, or email you and now… crickets. Face it, no one is that busy, and remember how quickly they would respond before? If they don’t respond like they used to, you may end up feeling unappreciated. Remember the times they used to be so attentive? Now, you’re the one planning outings, most of which they flake out on, and you always have to initiate texts and calls because they aren't going to. Distance is usually a pretty clear sign that your S.O. doesn’t care the way they once did.
Being with your significant other should alleviate your stress, not add to it. Are you constantly staying up late wondering what your partner is up to? Is money tight, yet, your significant other seems to spend it without a care? Do you suspect your partner is cheating? If your goals don't align with theirs anymore, that's okay; what's not okay is trying to keep up a relationship that's heading in two different directions.
Has your partner made a decision without even considering you or your feelings? Suddenly date night is canceled and work is more of a priority than you are. Or he decides to hang out with his friends all weekend and completely ignores you. Things come up in life, but, if this becomes a pattern, understand there is something else taking priority in your S.O.’s life and it's not you. In other words, when your significant other begins to act single, run for the hills!
Are you constantly trying to get your significant other to hang out with you only to be told they're just too busy? If your partner is always making excuses and pretending that their schedule is packed, maybe they just aren't that into you anymore. Why would you want to spend your life with someone who doesn't appreciate you or want to spend almost all of their time with you? Life is too short for that.
If you and your loved one never talk about anything that may happen more than a month into the future, then you may be avoiding it because you can't imagine being with your significant other for much longer. Whether you're the one feeling this way, or you're noticing that your partner feels this way, it's just a sign to call it quits. If you can't picture the future together, there's no point in staying in the present.
Depression is no joke. If you're feeling sad or alone most of the time you're around your partner, it may be time to call it quits. Don't take our word for it. Seek professional help before it festers and becomes something worse. No relationship is worth this.
Relationship expert Rachel DeAlto says,
"If your sex life has gone from 60 to 0, it is a bad sign that your relationship is on the fritz. A little ebb and flow of desire is normal, but if one of you has lost the desire completely (without any underlying medical condition involved) it is time to end it."
That time with the pals won’t kill your connection, but it will when your partner hangs out with their friends in an effort to avoid you. So how can you tell when your loved one's night out means trouble? Ask about their evening when they come home. Does your partner look into your eyes when they tell the story? Or are they looking down and making up the story as they go? Either way, dishonesty can be ready immediately.
No matter the argument or fight, you disagree with your partner and they respond threatening you with a breakup, it's time to go. Run for the door and don’t fall into this trap. If they want you in their life they will chase after you. You should never have to beg! Ever!
You end up feeling frustrated, angry, and hurt whenever you try to talk them. They don't answer your calls like they used to, or call you as often. If your S.O. always took your call and suddenly you’re listening to voicemail way more than you ever have, face it and don’t leave a message. There is a complete disconnect and no resolution; take it for what it is, you deserve to be happy.
A spat of words in a relationship is a great way to vent and can actually be healthy; after all, it shows you both still care. If you get to a point, however, when you can no longer resolve the issues and just fight ALL the time, you need to think about how you want to continue. If you find you both still have the desire to sort things out, you could be in with a chance of reviving your relationship. If there’s no want, then unfortunately, there's no relationship.
In a good partnership, people should lift one another up, not bring them down. If you’re always second-guessing yourself and only staying afloat because of hope, your relationship has already begun to drown.
Learning when to end a relationship is not an exact science. But, a union plagued with these signs is definitely one that needs a ton of changes or a willingness to get up and walk away. Life is too short. Don’t be foolish and hang on to someone who isn’t cherishing you. You have options; you deserve to be loved; you are beautiful.