Keeping Your Independence in a Relationship

by Allen Gil March 01, 2015

Keeping Your Independence in a Relationship

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We all go through this at one point: We start a brand new relationship, and everything seems to be going great for a while. But then you get into a fight and quickly find yourself in a nightmare of feeling alone and insecure without him.

Basically, you’ve spent so much time focused on the relationship that you may have “lost” yourself in the process. So, how do you handle this?

Don’t Forget About Your Friends

It’s new, so it's inevitable that you want to spend as much time with him as you can. We ALL feel like that at some point in the relationship, but you have to make time for your friends too.

Trust me, you’ll need them at one point or another during the relationship, and if you’ve been blowing them off, they won’t be as likely to help. Remember, no one likes feeling abandoned when their friend gets a significant other!

Don’t Give Up Your Interests or Hobbies

Again, you’ve been hanging out with your man pretty much every night, and you haven’t gone to that P90X class that you love or out dancing with your girlfriends. It’s okay; this is normal. Try to remember, those interests and hobbies you had when you met this guy are the things that caught his attention in the first place, otherwise, he wouldn’t have started a relationship with you!

Continue to pursue your passion(s); or you’ll lose that part of you that made you interesting to him in the first place!

Stay True to Who YOU Are

It’s okay to be YOU! You won’t always agree with him and you don’t need to. Not only will it become boring if you’re constantly agreeing with everything your man says, but it may also go against who you are.

Of course, it’s good to agree on important matters, such as, shared morals, as long as you’re being real about what you want. Not agreeing on the small stuff is okay.


Don’t Drop Everything for Him

We've been there too: Your relationship is new and you want to spend every possible waking moment with this person because you love every second of it, but trust me, eventually you’re going to want to do your own thing. People who are in love want to be together, but it’s not the best idea to get in the habit of dropping everything for him when he wants to hang out.

What are you going to do when he wants a guy's night out and you canceled all these commitments with YOUR friends? Here's what's going to happen: You’ll end up spending the night alone when you could have had a great night without him and been with your girlfriends instead!

Don’t be a “Clingy” Girlfriend

So maybe you’re feeling a little insecure and you need some reassurance from your man, that's okay and it happens. Try to avoid being clingy, because this usually doesn't end well. He’ll find it to be a complete turnoff and the reassurance you needed.. well, let's just say you’ll end up needing twice as much.

Do Things For Each Other That the Other Person Enjoys

Girls tend to get caught up in constantly wanting to please their significant other. It has to be a two-way street though. If your man wants to go watch the football game or basketball game, go with him! He’ll see that you genuinely care enough about him to do things you don’t necessarily love!

However, if you want to see a chick-flick, he should be willing to do that for you too once in awhile. But, if he’s not interested in going with you, that’s okay, go with your girlfriends or by yourself.. Just make sure you don’t give up doing the things you enjoy.

Appreciate Your Differences

No matter how in love with your partner you are, or how much you totally understand each other, you both are two separate individuals. Being different from each other complements the relationship and makes it that much more interesting!

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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