Getting GYFT'D at The Arnold

March 04, 2015

Getting GYFT'D at The Arnold

Photo Credit: columbus.org

Every year, perhaps the most interesting man in the world arrives in Columbus, Ohio, bringing with him 175,000 fitness fanatics from over eighty countries, along with 18,000 of the world’s most accomplished athletes in over fifty sports.

After winning his first Mr. Olympia in 1970 at the tender age of 23, Columbus, Ohio holds a special place in the giant heart of a giant man, Arnold Schwarzenegger. For the 26th consecutive year, Arnold will bring it back to where it all started and host another promising weekend full of the world’s most hardcore athletes at the Arnold Sports Festival.

 

Boasting some of the largest bodybuilding competitions and, of course, the largest bodies, the Arnold Sports Festival will crown 2015 champions in USA Powerlifting, Physique International, Bikini International, Arnold Classic 212 and Arnold Classic Physique, among other professional and amatuer events. Past champions of Arnold’s events include Hercules-like athletes such as Flex Lewis, Rich Gaspari, Ronnie Coleman, Jay Cutler, Iris Kyle, and Yaxeni Oriquen. As if there wasn’t enough testosterone already, The Arnold Classic attracts star-studded athletes from every sport. This year we can expect appearances from the likes of wide-receivers Antonio Brown and Larry Fitzgerald, everybody's "brother," Hulk Hogan, YouTube phenomenon Dom Mazetti, and UFC fighter Randy Couture; though a variety of stars such as Sylvester Stallone, The Rock, Kurt Angle, Carmen Electra, Ray Lewis, Ronda Rousey, and Forrest Griffin have been known to show face.

The Governator will be playing host to 900 of the world’s most innovative fitness and health brands ranging from the latest in workout equipment to the newest protein supplements. The GYFT Team will be in attendance this year at The Classic, and here are some of the more unconventional events my 5’7 (and a half), 160lb, non juiced-up frame will be looking forward to:

Arnold Classic Armwrestling Championships:

Just close your eyes and get a nice visual of two, 300 pound sweaty behemoths grunting and gasping for air as they try really, really hard to snap off their opponent's wrist. Who wouldn’t want to see that?

World Jump Rope:

Arnold-Jump Rope
With my jump rope résumé consisting of Jump Rope for Heart in 4th grade, I can appreciate anybody that allocates the insane amount of coordination it takes to breakdance over a speeding nylon whip to becoming a professional jump roper.

The Pole Fitness National Championship:

I have a strange feeling there is going to be “that guy” who doesn’t realize these women working the pole aren’t actual strippers. I refuse to miss that train-wreck of a moment when he attempts to tip them in exchange for a grope--and the only ass he ends up getting is a foot up his own.

 

 

Pickleball:

I can only imagine what Pickleball is. I could look it up, but for some reason I’d rather envision this hysterical scene of a bunch of pregnant women chasing each other down for a pickle. Kind of like rugby… but with a savory, salty, kosher-delight.


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