What to do if You Find Yourself Feeling Insecure

by Allen Gil March 07, 2015

What to do if You Find Yourself Feeling Insecure

Almost everyone I have talked to, at one point or another, has admitted to feeling insecure about something. It's almost inevitable. When we feel insecure and allow it to get the best of us, we rob ourselves of our potential.

The problem is that our insecurities can stem from us looking at ourselves from another person's point of view, typically someone who has little appreciation for the person that we really are. We end up judging ourselves unfairly and the insecurities start to snowball.

I feel insecure a lot of the time. I have doubts that I am not good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. I doubt myself often, and feel as though I've made the wrong decisions. Sure, I can pretend I’m feeling confident, but even if everyone around me believes it, deep down I know that I’m not REALLY feeling that way.

Recently I’ve been feeling more insecure than normal, so after some research, I found some helpful tips to help overcome any insecurities.

Consider it to be a positive

Insecurity actually shows humility, which is a great quality in a person. With insecurity, we admit that it’s not all about us. We allow ourselves to realize that maybe other people are more important than we are.

This can really be positive, as long as you don't take it too far. Just because someone else may be getting more attention or the focus isn't all on you, does not mean that you are not important or that the other person is "better" than you. Being humble will take you a lot further in life than being "cocky."

Change up your routine

This sounds easier than it really is, and it requires a little bit of work. Sometimes you need to rearrange your schedule in order to give yourself proper time to deal with your insecurities. If you know that lately, every time you see this woman, you find yourself feeling inadequate, avoid seeing her for a little while.

It’s okay to give ourselves time to deal with our feelings. We have to protect ourselves because no one else will. Why choose to torture yourself when you are already feeling down? Once you start to feel better about yourself, then you can resume your normal activities.

Surround yourself with supportive people


Very few people in our life truly understand us. This core group of support should be the people that you'd want to surround yourself with whenever you feel insecure. They can remind you what you have to offer the world and all the good qualities you possess.

They try to build us up when we feel insecure instead of bringing us down and saying things like, “stop being insecure, you’re being stupid.” Instead, they may say something like, “I love that you allow yourself to feel these emotions, it shows how humble you really are.”

Sure, they may say "you have nothing to feel insecure about," but usually, they’ll explain why that’s the case instead of just saying "you’re ridiculous."

Stop focusing on the negatives

Feeling insecure can leave you focusing too much of your energy on all of the negatives. You may find yourself pointing out ten things you did wrong, or all the ways you wish you were different, instead of focusing on all of the positives. Okay, so maybe you feel like you've gained a few pounds and you don't look great in your favorite jeans.

You can choose to sit around and focus on those things and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can proactive and do something about it. Don't focus on the weight you gained, focus on the fact that you're not going to just sit around doing nothing about it.

I always feel so much better when I do something that makes me feel better, like going for a run. This kills two birds with one stone. It brings me outside of myself for a little bit, and it makes me proactive about my insecurity instead of wallowing in my misery.

No one else can see your insecurities


When we feel insecure, we feel like everyone around us can see our insecurities as clearly as we can, which causes us to feel more insecure than we already do. This just isn’t the case. NO ONE can see or feel your insecurities without your permission.

People are usually too worried about their own insecurities to even notice yours.

Try to remember that,

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. 
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained. 
~Arthur Somers Roche   

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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