The Gentleman’s Guide to Street Harassment

by Allen Gil March 29, 2015

The Gentleman’s Guide to Street Harassment

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You see that beautiful girl walking by herself? Yep, the one sashaying toward you with the tank top on. Is there something you want to say to her? Maybe you want to acknowledge the fact that she’s absolutely got it going on. Obviously she wants you to peep every inch of her upper thighs because she’s wearing cutoffs that leave nothing to the imagination.

What…means this? Brain, WHAT MEANS THIS?? Does she want me to tell her that she’s fine as hell?? Am I supposed to? No, wait, I have to. I just can’t help it. Her footsteps are getting louder and my only opportunity to tell her how I feel is slipping away with every clack-click of her cheap cork wedges.


“Hey, hey. Mmmm. Mmmmmmm, damn, girl. DAMN, girl.”



Ladies and gentlemen, we have just taken a journey through what I can only imagine to be the misguided thought process of a street harasser. I believe that most people are inherently good, which is why I simply cannot understand how street harassers justify the things they say and do. I can’t believe that they think harassment is in any way socially or morally acceptable, because it’s not.

To cope with my inability to grasp the street harasser’s logic, I create little storylines, like the one above, that give me a glimpse, albeit fictious, into what they may be dealing with when they decide to shout degrading and demeaning curses at you.


I can better accept the notion that a street harasser is failing to find the right words than I can accept the notion that they are intentionally trying to embarrass and humiliate a harmless passerby. Street harassment is no joke, and it can affect men or women equally. The problem is, it is typically women who fall victim to shameful, degrading catcalls but when men are victimized it’s all in good fun.

Want to Catcall? Here Are Three Other Options.



We can only combat street harassment if we stop it from taking place. Feel the urge to holla? Take a deep breath, count to three and try any one of these alternative methods to deal.

3. Smile and expect nothing in return.

That’s right, expect nothing in return. Swallow whatever Earth-shattering revelation you have about this girl’s ass and accept the fact that her world doesn't revolve around crude complisults from strangers.

2. Smile and say “Hi.

Are you sensing a pattern here? Part of the problem with street harassment is the harasser’s belief that they are entitled to make an unsolicited comment. You need to make peace with the fact that – more than likely – absolutely nothing is going to transpire after you say what’s on your mind. Just try your best with a simple pleasantry and move along.

1. Throw yourself in front of a moving car.

Ok, ok, that might be a bit much...but it's an idea.

1. Offer a genuine, non-creeper compliment such as, “You look beautiful today.”

You’re not going to offend anyone with that one, but the key is in the way you deliver your compliment. You absolutely cannot lick your lips before you say it, LL, and definitely don’t run your gaze over the lady’s body like you’re sizing her up for an assault.

Eye contact, sincere smile, deliver line. Promise you won’t get tazed.

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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