Inspiring or Just Another "Mom Fail?"

by Allen Gil March 11, 2015

Inspiring or Just Another "Mom Fail?"

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On January 2nd Ashley Wright, a pole dancer, who happens to also be an outspoken breastfeeding and attachment parenting advocate, posted a video on her Facebook page performing a pole routine in her home in her black bra and panties. Quite beautiful one might say as you watch her gracefully move and lift herself off of the ground.

This video was sent to me as I am a practitioner and fan of balance ability. I was enjoying watching the routine until about a quarter of the way in when a female toddler walks into the shot reaches for her mommy and then walks around her. All the while, Ashley continues to dance to “Drinking and Driving” by Jhene Aiko and I hear the lyrics “So I need you to tell me that you love me some more. Put your hands on my body as my clothes hit the floor. I know you barely know me, but tonight I am yours. Ask me what I want. I say whatever can cure this mess.” Hmmm not so sure I am enjoying this video any longer honestly.  


After watching the entirety of the video, this is what I got from it: I saw Ashley do some really beautiful pole tricks. I saw Ashley laying on her back with her legs in the air for a floor display that was obviously a strip club standard. I then saw Ashley back up and dance with her little girl to the music by the pole. I saw another woman walk into shot as the toddler claps for her momma. Towards the end of the video, she picks up the little girl and swings around the pole with the girl on her hip. Not too terribly bad thus far I suppose… a little poor in taste but I can go back about my day without feeling dirty for watching it.


However, here is the part that makes me cringe. At the end of the video, you can see the toddler's hands raised towards the momma and she looks as though she is crying and unhappy about being ignored. Cut to next shot of Ashley on the floor in “floor hump” pose and baby girl with her hand on Ashley’s back.

ashley wright combo

Facebook video post caption “What dancing while attachment parenting looks like!" How great it is to have both my passions with me into the New Year...Be you! And Be you courageously! NO SHAME IN OUR POLE DANCING GAME! "Man the view was so nice from here Dancing on the edge with you, but I am not scared with you. Could you remind me why I am here? I can only feel with you, I am only real with you" - Song: Jhene Aiko - Drinking and Driving Enjoy! and Please Share!”

Hold up, those lyrics sound so innocent and sweet. Didn’t I hear completely different lyrics when the baby girl came into the picture? Well, I suppose quoting those particular lyrics would have painted a completely different picture, huh?  

Ok, so now you get the mental image of the video OR you can watch it yourself. Here is the grand controversy: After she posted this video, heads exploded! There were those who praised her for sharing this inspiring video of a strong and confident women and MANY others who lit into her. posted a few of these comments:

  • “How about teaching your daughter to read or count or spell, instill qualities in her that will make her bright and successful? Instead of instilling skills in her that will only benefit her if she needs to degrade herself for money."
  • "Ummm nothing wrong with pole dancing but not when you should be spending time with your it when the child is in bed... that is NOT the time to be doing it."
  • "I can't support this at all. Dancing is one thing. But sliding down a pole in your panties in front of a baby is how you raise a future stripper not a future Queen. Let's raise less Nicki Minaj's and more Assata Shakur's!!!"

What was Ashley’s response to this you ask? Of course, she defended her video and her decision to dance in front of her child in this manner. She said “ I do not expect everyone to understand me nor my 'parenting style' for progression is few for most," according to


Here is where things get hinky for me. Not only do I now see a TON of naked pictures of this woman AND her naked child, but on March 14th she posted another video on her youtube page, which, by the way, is filled with her personal breastfeeding videos (yuck). In this video, you might notice a bit of a change in the “I am proud of who I am and what I do in front of my baby in my panties…or better yet naked” Ashley. Here we see Ashley in a professional dance studio, wearing a colorful traditional African wrap top with toddler papoosed to her back. Her normally long locks that she flung around in the earlier video are now tightly wrapped up in a head scarf. What song is she dancing to this time, you might ask? “Circle of Life” from the Lion King, of course, duh! Funny thing here is that I seem to be missing the floor routine. Did I skip that part? Where is the floor hump? Oh, my.  


So, after reading through the overtly obvious spiritual sentiments below the video along with her thanking all the people involved in creating her look and choreography, it seems to me that miss Ashley is singing a very different tune these days. No “NO SHAME IN OUR POLE DANCING GAME!” sentiment this time? Oh, I’m sorry, that would just sound too crude coming from a woman whose sole purpose in these videos is clearly only to demonstrate the power of women. She says,

“When I dance, it is not simply because I enjoy it. I dance because it is a part of being human; a part of who I am. It is a projection of my freedom. And not just my physical freedom of which I am not barred down with shackles and chains, but freedom of my mind, freedom of my heart, freedom of my soul; Freedom to Be unapologetically, unabashedly myself, to myself and to the world.”

Hmm well, had I seen this first I guess I would think “what a great role model she is, but guess what? Nope, I don’t. All she did was change up her gig so that she would come off as mother and dancer who happens to enjoy that particular art form.Sorry Ashley, but I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “you can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.”

Frankly, this is just another example of what you have surely seen on social media as “mom fails” in disguise. A good disguise but still “a pig.” Is she somehow different than these other women who also got caught straddling the pole with baby in tow?



I don’t think so. So what you have ultimately created, is a young girl or boy who sees momma doing it and learns no different. Case in point, this young boy who has a great role model (extreme sarcasm alert).

Moral of the story, stop it! You are not fooling anyone with your spiritual awareness rhetoric and head scarf masking your true passion for the dollar. You think for a second her “night job” didn’t skyrocket because of this? Hmmm, I’m willing to bet she’s booked up with no kids allowed…and fine with that. 

Allen Gil
Allen Gil


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